first comment, just going through your blog from the start here and greatly enjoying/benefiting from it (did you write Ok to be Human just for me???)

I have to add my two cents here about the cost VS benefit. My and my wife have decided to open our relationship a couple months ago, right smack in the middle of me going through depression (awesome timing I know). She has a regular “boytoy” but I have decided to figure my own shit out before adding this extra complication to my life. Anyway, it really hasn’t been easy to deal with this on top of the other issues that put me where I am. One might thus think, WTF were you thinking about!?!? Well, turns out it was rather good timing.

I cannot understate the incredible level of communication that opening up has thrown us into. I have honestly made more progress in my relationship in the last month than in the last 5 years. It put us in a situation where communication had to be increased and all of a sudden it’s like the floodgate were just blown right out. Every current and past issue has been put on the table, dissected, analyzed and addressed. This also had the effect of putting us in the frame of mind to have a more open dialog about my personal problems, which have been put through the same analytical contraption with the result that I now find myself (with the help of my oh so amazing wife) addressing issues that I have carried with me and suffered from all my life. I haven’t even had the chance to go play yet and already this is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me at a personal level! So yeah, timing was good in the end. I am now contemplating a liberated and exiting future, with a wife that I feel closer to than ever before… and added sexy fun !

Sorry to make it so long, I just wanted to set the scene so as to underline: The reward of the tremendously enhanced degree of communication and the resulting leaps of personal growth are the most amazing parts of all this.

Your blog is awesome is helping me/us a lot,

I sincerely thank you.

I have body issues myself, but they’re in the complete opposite direction. I’m a guy, 6’2″, 140 lbs. I always feel gawky and gangly, although I’ve filled out a bit in the last 5 years just by aging (used to be around 130 lbs.). It’s a bit of a hang-up, and I feel dumb for having it.

I get the feeling that image hang-ups are practically universal. Everyone has something that they hate about the way they look, and in most cases it’s just a matter of taste. What one woman might find undesirable in me another might think is the bees knees.

It’s not that I’m looking at an open relationship as some kind of therapy session, but I do just want to see what people think and how they react and better know what it is I am to them.

Do you ever ponder a day that you might return to monogamy? Sometimes I think about my current life and its benefits, but occasionally feel one day that things will change as they do in the cycle of life – such as do I want to be chasing additional partners after menopause and my breasts are hanging around my knees somewhere . The main benefit of a non-monogamous relationship to me isn’t the sex, but the flexibility to be more fluid in how I manage my life rather than gripping to one way of living.