Tonight we had dinner with a friend we hadn’t seen in a while and the topic of her open relationship came up. This is a girl who prefers to be mysterious. No Facebook, no cell phone and no emotional availability from her to anyone besides her lovely boyfriend. This works for her and I can understand & appreicate why she’s like that.
While chatting to her about all this and everything that happened in the latter half of 2008, we talked about our differences with me sharing my life online as well as being emotionally available to the right person / people when dating. To be honest, and this may surprise you, I don’t really think about the fact that I share my experiences on the internet. Having always had an online presence since 1996, it feels normal to put myself out there for your curious minds and I rarely think twice about it. Only when I’m writing about another person and perhaps letting them in on how I feel about them do I feel any stress or worry about saying the wrong thing.
By putting it out there, many of you have told me I’ve helped you and that always means so much to me. If I am able to share my open relationship experiences with you and help you articulate something you hadn’t thought of before, or just share some common ground, then I’ve met my goals for that day. Some of you might disagree with me, and others still, a few people in particular might just hate me altogether. C’est la vie. I still love doing it.
I understand the other school of thought of keeping things to yourself. If you are more of a private person or less emotionally available (separate things, but the same explanation applies), it is easier to protect yourself from negative situations by keeping things to yourself. Which is another reason many of you question how I am able to share personal details, and how I often feel compelled to do so.
The simple answer? I thrive on communication, openness and honesty. Learning about sex, love and relationships through others, my own thoughts and writing drives me forward every day. I know that by being so open or emotionally available that I run the risk of getting hurt; but if I put something out there that I could easily keep to myself to avoid being judged, etc., then it loses its power as something that can hurt me and becomes something that can help, or at least make you nod, think or smile for a minute.
Cheers to all our differences and to whatever works for you!
