The jury is still out on chivalry and its relation to equality, and I think always will be. The politically correct ninjas of the 90′s would like everyone to believe that men and women are equal, but I think somewhere along the line the message got a little skewed. Just like in that little book, oh what’s it called? Ah yes, the bible.
Men and women should get paid the same wage for doing the same jobs. Men should not let women rudely jump ahead of them in line, waiting for the bus, just because they’re women. Men should take out the trash. Haha, kidding on that last one. Well … kind of.
Being treated equally by government, employers, family and friends is important and something women have had to fight to win for a long time. However, ignoring the wonderful differences between guys and dolls that makes us unique and special is, in my opinion, a tragedy.
Our brains are generally wired differently. Men are often – and I’ll insert a not always disclaimer right about here – better at being really really good at one thing – often their career – while multi-tasking is something that the ladies excel in. That’s not sexist, it’s science and I’m sure has been proven somewhere at some point in some sort of too expensive study. Women react very differently to sexual responses, often acting on emotions and senses while men are guided more by their cocks. Also science.
So onto chivalry, and for the rest of this conversation, chauvinism.
Chauvinism by its very nature is sexist. I should not be endorsing it as an appropriate type of behaviour for men OR women, but I do find it fascinating and am going to tell you all the reasons why. Now depending on how it is being delivered, chauvinism can also be very ignorant, cruel and unnecessary. Thousands of men still believe that women are beneath them, and this behaviour is intolerable. Thousands of women also play up female chauvinism by perpetuating the idea that women are dumb and all we have to offer is our pretty lil’ faces, tight asses and perky titties. That’s why I like to daydream about something a little more playful; chauvinistic chivalry.
Anyone who knows me should be well aware of my love for Mad Men. We love the show so much that ‘The Drapers’ ended up being perfect nicknames for two people closest to us. There’s something so attractive about these male characters who at their core are really swell fellas’, but they’re living in a time when it’s expected of them to call a gal ‘Sweet Cheeks’ and smack her on the rear. Nowadays, this probably wouldn’t fly at work – and if it would, well I want to work where you do! – but there is something to be said for the combo of chauvinistic jackass meets sweet, loving man.
The show makes me swoon. Countless times I have watched it and been left feeling more turned on than even I would admit to. I cannot deny the strange old-fashioned pull of a man who will defend my honor to his death but will also ask me to fetch him a beer, and by ask I mean expect. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Don Draper.
I see the same in Bill’s character in True Blood. Being one bazillion years old, or however old he is as a vampire, he comes from a different era. A time when men were MEN and he’s had to learn to adapt to an evolving society and changing rights for women. When he deals with Sookie his love interest, there is a sexy intensity between the two that reminds me of my own relationships. It is made up of his knowledge that “he knows better” dueling with his absolute adoration of her.
I think the healthiest relationships are those that can have some fun with a little chauvinistic chivalry. Sure us gals are strong enough and smart enough and by golly people like us, to open our own car doors and pull out our own chairs, but it feels NICE to have someone do it for us. Putting up a stink about being treated like a girl is kind of a waste of time. You are a girl! Milk it, honey!
I would much rather walk past a man, have him smack me on the ass playfully and then make me feel loved, safe and romanced, ie: like a woman, then be with a guy who degrades “chicks” and “skanks” in front of me or behind my back.
So. Get you a beer, love?