This might make me an asshole … but I don’t care.
When I get a message like this, it makes me angry but in an amused way. It’s clearly coming from a man who doesn’t get it. He hasn’t read my profile, he’s not interested in knowing anything about me. He is a serial copy paster. He’s living in a Fabio inspired, trashy romance novel world with no interest in who I am, my relationship situation and especially the fact that I’m not really dating any other men right now. I’m quite enthralled with the ones I’ve got.
How do I know? Because he has copy pasted me before. And I’ve received messages from friends saying that he has sent the EXACT same message both times. Wow.
Last time I ignored him. This time I told him in no uncertain terms that he’s an idiot.
See for yourself. And feel free to flag the douche. He’s kafka47ca on okcupid.com.
He's all yours, ladies
Some time has passed since I enquired if you would contemplate being the Other woman in a man’s life. This would be a commitment to a long term relationship, although, not within the definitions a site such as this operates upon.
As you have not replied, I can only conclude that you are still pondering the issue…
Consider for a moment the advantages that such a relationship offers to you: commitment without containment; uninhibited and free love with no messy strings; someone who exclusively desires you; torrent of passionate embraces on your terms; your independence is assured yet we would certainly be intertwined on an intimate and emotional basis.
Yes, against it stands the fairy tale ideal of marriage. Nonetheless, as the divorce rate readily shows, modern relationships are fraying even under the best of circumstances. Having put my heart into one such imaginary relationship, I would caution anyone that love and modern relationships are a constant challenge and work, of which, I no longer can partake in with someone intent at demolishing the foundations of the said relationship on a semi-regular basis because of some egotistical whim or narcissistic action.
What then I am asking of you? To partake in: boundless love; providing comfort – something as simple as stroking one’s brow; partaking in common interests and sharing stories of the things that enchant life and make it beautiful; offering tenderness, compassion and affection; empathy and respect.
Are you feeling this is something that you would like to try?
Hell no! This was more of an icky business proposal than romantic seduction.
i don’t even get what he’s asking for. he says “the other woman in a man’s life” but then later says he’d be someone who “exclusively desires you.” wtf? is he married (but miserable) & unwilling to divorce her, then looking for something on the side? i..don’t understand. perhaps he’s just a bot.
Kill it. Kill it with fire. Creep men like this are an embarrassment to my gender.
eeeewwwww. That made me feel dirty just reading it.
You’re not an asshole…but you certainly tagged him right: douchebag.
I need to go take a shower now.
All I read was “Tied up in trunk of car”.
There were a few similar posts on Fetlife that, like this, conflate the writers’ interest in an NSA or on-the-side fuck with a charitable favour to the fuckee, also use wannabe high-falootin’ language.
I can’t fault someone for wanting to get laid, but the charitable aspect of it seems really fucking condescending. It reads as though these guys watched Roger Dodger, or read The Game, and are acting on some hackneyed understanding of What Women Want .
A personals ad/reply should not read like an SEO-friendly intro to a website. I guess he spent so much time getting it just the way he wanted it, he figured “Why waste it on just one woman when I can just omit personal details and reuse the sucker?”
Tragic. Perhaps he will meet a britney bot on twitter one day and they’ll settle down and make lots of vapid offspring.
He’s sent me the same email as Sam twice and I just got another morning. But it’s different! Maybe he’s really my soulmate…
“I have already sent you a number of messages for invite to chat… but chatting is not really my thing. As I a believer in dialogue and discussion, as a clearly intelligent woman, I am sure that you can appreciate that.
So, forgive me, if I find myself enamoured with just an image/avatar and a profile of someone I do not yet know. For I keep trying to make the connection to which I get no response.
Maybe this time, will be different.”
I say, not.
“As you have not replied, I can only conclude that you are still pondering the issue…”
No, you can conclude that I think you’re a pompous jerk who probably cut a photo out of Sears catelogue and passed it off on your own.
Block the muthafucka.
This is the creepiest part – I looked at his answers to a few of the questions on OKC:
Would you leave an otherwise perfect relationship if you found out your partner was interested in children sexually?
Kafka: No
Me: Yes (in red, which means he considers it an unacceptable answer)
‘Bot. And a boring one at that.
Ugh! I hate this! I just wrote a post/rant this week about this same thing! If you’re going to mass post, at least remember who you already sent it too! This guy is just creepy. I don’t get these guys that think that being overly solicitous is going to get them anywhere.
Just discovered your blog and loving it!