What What, In Your Butt!

Hey work colleagues and family! This post is probably TMI for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Recently I went to local sex store, Come As You Are for the Advanced Anal Pleasure workshop with Tristan Taormino, sex educator, adult filmmaker and bestselling author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.

The lovely Tristan Taormino & I

I’d been looking forward to this workshop for weeks and finally it was settled that Steph would come with me, so after a quick diner at Harlem Underground, off we went. The atmosphere at CAYA is lovely and intimate, with room for only about 20 people. I was really looking forward to meeting Tristan as I very much enjoy (and recommend) her book on open relationships Opening Up and have quoted her in my book on numerous occasions.

Assuming that everyone in the room was well versed in anal pleasures enough to be attending the advanced workshop, Tristan started right away with enemas. After enemas she discussed the ins and outs of anal penetration; prostate stimulation; anal sex positions; strap-on anal sex; orgasms through anal penetration; extended butt plug wearing; and anal fisting. She grabbed a couple of volunteers from the audience who, while one wore the Wonder Woman dildo harness, demonstrated various positions to try for everyone from the beginner (try spooning), to those that want to “jam it all in” (try doggie).

Never being 100% comfortable with full on anal myself, it was great to have my questions answered by someone well known as an expert in areas of the bum. Mild IBS and pain have always made the idea of it not too appealing but knowing that not only is my husband into the ass, but so are others I’m dating, makes me want to try harder. I’m not opposed to it like I am eating mushrooms. Asking Tristan about practicing, stomach problems and timing helped reassure me that not only is it possible, it will be fun and if I can learn to relax, there’s a whole world waiting there for me.

Here’s some quick tips from the workshop that I’ll share with you.

• Even people with chron’s, IBS and other bum issues can enjoy anal play.
• Enemas often contain laxatives. Best to drain them and fill yourself with lukewarm water.
• Your ass is not going to grow to be this big gaping hole that you see in porn, only to never recover. Those people that you see in porn are sexual athletes and have been fucking for hours before you see them for 20 minutes with an asshole you could fit your foot into.
• All asses need a warm up. Even people who are used to anal play but take a break for a while will need a warm up to relax the muscles.
• The more practice you have, the less warm up time you’ll need eventually.
• When fisting, always use gloves. Even with partners that you go barrier free with.
• When fisting, if your partner freaks out and says “Get it out of there!”, this is a perfectly normal reaction. Go slow, but not too slow, and out you get.
• Anal sex requires a hard dick, (or a dildo), so if your partner asks you (boys) to stop moving because the sensation is too much, try short, shallow thrusts to keep both of you happy and aroused.
• After a good fisting, or other anal play, your ass might hurt! Try hemorrhoid wipes – basically baby wipes, soaked in witchhazel (try refrigerating them too!), or Vitamin A&D cream – available in your local pharmacy for some relief.
• Attention straight men! Liking it in the ass does NOT make you gay; stop thinking that! Your prostate just happens to be located there, and learn to stimulate that correctly and you can possibly become multi-orgasmic.

Thanks to Tristan and Come As You Are for a great workshop. I was really excited to be meeting one of my #polyamory author heroes and thankful that she was happy to let me quote her in my own book and will help me connect with other authors if necessary. Woo hoo!

For more information, check out Tristan on tour! Hopefully Toronto folks, I’ll see you when she returns to Toronto in April for the Feminist Porn Awards. You can also check her out tomorrow at Uof T when she keynotes the Porn Reborn: New Movements and Markets in Pornography event. (Visit her tour page for more information.)