Review: Sqweeeeeeeeeel

When I first saw the Sqweel by LoveHoney last year I immediately wanted one, but felt a little silly. I have a strange aversion to any sex toy that emulates a real body part too much and the Sqweel is designed with 10 spinning tongues that mimic the most perfectly controlled pussy licker.

Oral sex and I are pretty good buds, to a point. Let’s be real for a second. I’m a pretty slow burn in the orgasm department. Everything has to be 100% just right for it all to work out well and any deviation from the plan can cause my muscles to give up and start trying all over again. (Unless I’m sitting up and sneaking it, but that’s private business.) Basically the giver has to be patient and willing to NOT FUCKING MOVE BECAUSE OH GOD THAT’S PERFECT RIGHT THERE.

This is why the Sqweel is so flipping awesome. I don’t have to worry about someone’s jaw giving out. I don’t have to worry that they’re going to misunderstand me when I say “Keep going.” I don’t have to worry that I’m taking too long and that they’re super bored. Why? Because I’m talking to a battery operated, phthalate-free sex toy instead of a human, that’s why. Well, not literally talking to it. That’d be weird, right?

The Sqweel is one of the few sex toys that I own that caused me to embrace lube. I usually don’t bother because *ahem* I don’t need it most of the time. With this little guy though, lube is most definitely its best friend and any friend of Sqweel is a friend of Samantha. A little drop on each tongue and it’s ready to go. It has three speeds but super fast is obviously my favorite. The thing that I love the most is how a Sqweel orgasm feels so much like I’m actually with another person – which NONE of my other toys do. It gets me head to toe and makes me tingle like a young boy finding his dad’s Playboys for the first time.

The only downside to the Sqweel is that when it’s close to go time (by go I mean come), I can’t hold the thing in a death grip like I do the Hitachi. My fingers are so used to getting into death grip mode and coming out of the experience a little claw-like but with the Sqweel, the more I push it into me, the slower the motor rotates. It’s a lesson in physics which can be challenging to grasp in the moment.

The Sqweel can be yours from Ohhh Canada for only $45.99. It’s 100% worth it, if you agree with and are interested in everything I just wrote above. It’s easy to clean, easy to use and can be fitted with different wheels like the Sqweeler Pearl – which I tried but was WAY too sensitive for. Good for those of you with iron clits, perhaps?

It’s easily one of my top 3 toys and I’m freaking thrilled to finally own one. You might even say I’m sqweeling with joy …

Grab yours now!

The Sqweeler Pearl insert. For iron clits.

  • trishca

    Colour me intrigued.