My current trifecta of new wonderful humans wouldn’t be complete without talking about Andrew. He’s actually been around for a while but it’s only been recently in the past couple of months that we’ve made it into bedroom territory.
We met on FetLife of all places. He made a complimentary comment on one of my photos – about my ass – and then we exchanged some flirty messages. For the longest time he was impossibly aloof and I was resigned to accept that he was someone I would flirt with, possibly hang out with, but likely never actually get with.
When he bought a ticket and came to Playground 2011 – and stayed the whole weekend – I was complimented and impressed. Here was someone who took sexuality seriously and was helping me feel like my little baby conference was important.
What I came to learn about Andrew is that he has a lot to deal with his life; and a few other girls around expecting his attention. Being new, I was low on his totem pole; I got that. Being a dominant man, it means that it’s often expected of him to be “on” when perhaps he just needs to hang out and be a regular human. As much as I wanted him to pin me down by the throat and spank my bottom, I had to be patient.
Patience and I have always struggled to get along but as Andrew and I became better friends it was easier to find it. Sure, the flirty and often dirty chats we would sometimes have drove me insane – along with the dirty pics he would send me, the tease! – but what’s a girl to do when something is out of her hands?
Jump ahead a few months to my birthday party in March. I get a text asking for my house number, go outside and find him outside, wandering around. To say I was excited was an understatement. I was also a little off my head but it WAS my birthday after all.
That night ended with Andrew, Bella and I on the couch, a bit to Steph’s surprise – though he handled it like a champ. At some point my husband lovingly grabbed my thick and lovely wooden paddle and then Andrew proceeded to give me 32 birthday smacks. Teamwork! I was a bit effed up but if the bruises were any indication, I took a pretty good beating. Or maybe I’m a lightweight; rather my ass is. Ha, that’s funny. My fat ass being light in weight. Lulz. But I digress.
That was a major tease evening. Having this handsome, lovely man finally kiss me and spank me with perfect precision. Then as quickly as he’d arrived, he left.
A couple of weeks later, Steph was out of town so I asked Andrew if he was free for drinks. He was! I met him on a Friday night and we hit a local pub in his hood. I can’t say that he didn’t make me nervous, but I felt a strange mix of nerves and comfort with him – something I have learned about him to be quite familiar. We drank, we had some food, we went back to his place. I was sexcited!
Finally I got to be in his space and I loved it. He has a great place with funky stuff and is an excellent host. I don’t remember how it all happened but somehow we ended up naked, rolling around until 5:30 am.
There’s something fascinating about Andrew’s style of dominance. He’s definitely in control and I am happy to give him that power, but there’s a great safe feeling that he gives me when we’re together. He’s definitely the father figure, making sure my needs / limits are ok while he chokes me, spanks me or slaps me around.
We spent the next day together until around 6 and I was simply thrilled that he wasn’t kicking me out. Not only did he keep me around but he made me chocolate pancakes. And bacon! Where did this guy come from? Seriously though, I was just sort of expecting him to kick me out. It’s that whole post dominance thing. I’m used to having the sads. I’m used to someone being done with me and having to go back to their life; not actually being included in someone’s life the next day.
A few days after we were together that first time I still had weird insecurities, not sure if he liked me. We’d had sex and I was still not sure. That’s how fucking weird my mind is. But hey, he’s still busy and has other gals to deal with. I knew I wasn’t high on his totem pole. As time’s gone on, we’ve seen each other more, we’ve talked more and become better friends and I now feel pretty solid about us as friends slash lovers.
He allows me to feel free with my sexuality, pushing me when needed and making me comfortable when not. I’ve discovered a new, huge love for being spanked mainly because he’s just SO good at it. I’m weirdly comfortable naked with him, while he shows me random geeky things in his house that he’s passionate about. He’s also finally broken me, hurting me just that little extra and knows how to use that to his advantage.
Here’s where I just list a bunch of great things about him. He makes me laugh. He does little dances and sings along to great music – much of which I’ve been inspired to download. He’s biz smart and is helping me with Playground 2012. He’s also relationships/non monogamy smart and told me once that he needs outlets for “smart sex” which I am happy to provide. I feel like I can show him my weakest parts and he’ll accept them as part of my package.
Also, he and Steph get along well and think great things about each other. It’s really important to me nowadays that my lovers can be friends and can interact with my husband, my friends and my life and Andrew can.
I’ve wanted to be able to call him Daddy, but so far it’s been strangely challenging for me. Even if I can’t though, he’s the guy that makes me feel calm and safe and beautiful. I feel like a beautiful girl with him. He doesn’t force me to do things, he finds a way to make me force myself to do things.
Long story short: He’s a good human and basically, I’m glad to know him.
