I read a great tweet recently that really stuck with me.
“Treat people the way THEY want to be treated.”
Seems simple enough, but in actuality it goes against a lot of our programming. My entire life has been filled with lessons saying that I should be treating people the way I want to be treated. It’s a great lesson, in theory but if that is your life philosophy, allow me to simply state the following:
You’re doing it wrong.
What this life lesson is trying to get across – though failing due to its simplicity – is how important it is to treat others with respect, kindness and compassion. Everyone Most people deserve these basic considerations. It would be pretty easy to say that line instead, but we don’t. We still insist on treating people how we would like to be treated, or at least saying that expression without really giving it very much thought.
But what if I don’t like compliments, as they make me uncomfortable and somebody else does? What if I really enjoy being the center of attention while someone else could live quite comfortably as a wallflower? Should they be forced to get on stage and perform like a monkey because that’s what I might want for myself?
What happens when we get to the bedroom or the heart? In sex and relationships, it’s key to treat your partner(s) with respect, to listen to them when they need to share with you, and to be honest with them when you need to share with them; but you’re not the same person, are you? One of you might like mushrooms and the other might hate them. One of you might want to watch The Bachelor (really?) and the other, Game of Thrones. One of you might really love missionary sex, but the other needs something a little more … angled. Are these reasons to have an argument? Really?
We all have our differences and need to spend less time trying to force other people to fit into our own molds of what makes sense and is “right”. Instead, we need to look at what the people around us see as right, what motivates them and makes them feel safe and loved, and find out what we can do to help them along their own paths.
Getting to the core of what makes people tick isn’t always the easiest journey. You may find yourselves up against things that you just do not and will not understand. It’s worth the work though. Finding out what makes people in your life happy and how they like to be treated will make YOU feel like a million bucks for getting it right. Plus, nothing beats gaining some perspective and expanding your horizons like walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.
