Sexy Sinnovation Review Pt. 1: Jimmyjane Hello Touch Massager

Recently, while filling up a grab bag of goodies at Ohhh Canada, I decided that my new next review series needed a theme, and that theme would be innovation, or sinnovation if you want to use a cheesy word, and I do. As I pondered over the many toys and accessories I could play with, my eyes led me to the Jimmyjane Hello Touch Massager. I’d seen this around and for a while dismissed it as a gimmick, and not something that I, lover of all things Hitachi, could ever actually use to get myself off.

But in the interest of science? I persevered. It’s a tough life, I tell ya’.

The Hello Touch is unlike any of the other toys that I have. It’s not a phallic shaped object that fits inside of you, instead, it fits on you. It’s simple design, and “may be the best sex toy ever invented” – at least according to Gizmodo. Two small pad that fit around your fingers, and a wire that leads to the battery pack (it also comes with batteries), which is held in place by a little comfort pouch that fits on your wrist. There are no bells and whistles, no multiple speeds or variations, just a simple “on” and an equally simple, though less satisfying “off.”

Simplicity rules

Simplicity rules

It’s got a lot going for it, for such a tiny package. You can use it both internally and externally, and even for male stimulation. It’s waterproof, which is always a big plus for those quiet nights in the bathtub with a glass of merlot and thoughts of the guy in the marketing department. As per usual with Jimmyjane products, it’s phthalate free, and made of body-safe materials, and it’s teensy. You could take this thing anywhere, and no one would even know what it is! Break it out at a party and tell your friends it’s for facial exfoliation. Oh, how you’ll giggle inside.

Ok ok, I know what you’re wondering, how does it feel?

Well, it felt to me like a magnet. I know that’s a strange description, but when I’ve used it to get myself off, every time it’s felt really, really heavy on my pussy, like it was stuck there. That’s not actually a bad thing, it just felt … magnetic! Maybe it’s because I’ve become so used to using vibrators to get myself off, that having to actually move my hands is hard work and I could really feel each and every movement. Which is totally ok because the Hello Touch takes what I can do to myself, and simply amplifies it to a wonderful place. In short? It feels amazing and definitely has already provided enough orgasms to keep me satisfied for a while.

While it is super powerful, being a girl that likes a lot of pressure, I do wish that it was even more powerful, but for the average clitoris that doesn’t like to be basically destroyed like mine, this will do you just fine.

I give it a satisfied eight robotic uprisings out of a possible ten.

You can grab Jimmyjane’s Hello Touch Massager and other Jimmyjane products from Ohhh Canada, either in-store or online for $63.99.