Review: Abracadabra It’s A Wand-Off!

Valentine’s Day is coming up, but there’s really no excuse needed to get a wand vibrator. A staple in my sex toy drawers, these wands all have their own pros and cons. Which one will work best for you?

For two years life in my household was pretty difficult, you guys. My Magic Wand was left behind in Mexico by my husband when we switched to our second hotel of one lovely sunny holiday. Gone were the earth-shattering orgasms that I could have literally at the switch of a button. For a while I made do without any sort of magic device, until eventually I tried a Lelo Smart Wand.

Screen shot 2015-02-10 at 10.45.06 PMLelo Smart Wand

I like the Lelo wand. It feels smooth and slick, which is a very obvious contrast to the intense and large white drill that the Magic Wand is. It’s much more comfortable to hold and, in typical Lelo fashion, has multiple settings so that you can experience different levels of sensation. One of the coolest tricks that it has is the SenseTouch™ vibration setting which increases the strength upon contact with the skin. Personally, I think this mode is no good for masturbation but that’s because I generally like need to have constant strong pressure on my bits to get off. The SenseTouch makes that ridiculously annoying for me, but it’s really great for actual massage. If you have a knot in your back and want to hold something that feels sleek and will make for interesting conversation with your Aunt Maeva, grab a Smart Wand.

Overall, the Smart Wand is a pretty good wand for people who want to move away from the more standard and phallic vibes, and want something a bit more sophisticated with more bells and whistles, but it’s rarely enough power to make my clit scream. I don’t really recommend it when the other options are just so much better and more affordable!


Magic Wand

Screen shot 2015-02-10 at 10.45.28 PMThe (Formerly Hitachi) Magic Wand, or simply “Magic Wand” as it’s known now, doesn’t really need an introduction. It’s the beast that you’ll hear about if you know anyone who likes to know they’re definitely going to get off with a jackhammer in between their legs. It’s not a sexy beast though in fact, with its ridiculously loud settings and strange off-white colour; the only thing that tells you it’s a sex toy is how it feels pressed up against your cunt. It’s reliable, it’s powerful, but it’s certainly not for everyone.

I was thrilled to have a new one after a couple of years without one, but it’s definitely not the be all and end all that it used to be for me. It’s the old faithful that I return to if I want to get off in a quick second, but I definitely can’t feel seduced when it’s between my legs. If you don’t want to use the force on your vulva, maybe you should back away from this wand, and check out what’s up next.

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Body Wand

Ding ding ding, folks, we have a winner! After years of longing for my Magic Wand to come back to me, I was introduced to the Body Wand at exactly the same time as my Magic Wand reunion happened. Suddenly I was filled with conflicting emotions. I felt happy, I felt guilty … I felt like I was going to cum over and over and … well, you get the idea.

The Body Wand is everything I have ever wanted in a wand. It’s rechargeable, which means no wires in the way (though there is a plug-in version I have yet to try), the speed is adjustable, it’s small yet still ridiculously powerful, and it comes with just one alternate setting – the, what I call “reverse beep” – (just think of a truck backing up!). It’s the only toy that’s ever made me cum from that type of setting, it fits in a travel bag much easier than the Magic Wand (though, only the Lelo comes with its own sexy pouch), and the adjustable settings mean that when the orgasms happen – and oh boy, do they happen – I can instantly turn the thing down while my body is quickly adjusting into post orgasm mode, without having to turn it off like I do the Hitachi.

The downside? It has ridges on its flexible easy-move head which are terrible to clean. Even if you clean your sex toys immediately after use (and you should), the dust that can get in there, even in a drawer, is pretty annoying. But trust me, gang, it’s worth it.

So which wand suits you best? Well, that’s up to you and your bits to determine. I recommend the Body Wand, hands down, though I guess you’ll still need your hands to use it – unless you have a partner helping you out, or you’re tied to a chair holding one. Ooh, maybe a rotation of all THREE chairs!

The Lelo Smart Wand™ sells for $150 from Come As You Are and gets a solid 3/5 from me. Available from Ohhh Canada, the Hitachi sells for a very low $53.99 and gets an easy 4.25/5, and the Body Wand sells for $79.99 and definitely gets a 4.75/5.

Abracadabra, everyone!