I was interviewed recently by Sexy Typewriter about my open relationship. Or so I thought. If you’re reading this and you’re not a Facebook or Twitter friendly, it’s highly likely that you linked to me from the Toronto Sun’s website. Or the Edmonton Sun … or one of the many Suns across Canada (apparently what they . . . → Read More: Ohai Stake Burners …
     
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When I first had the idea for Playground around the end of last summer, I had a lot more time on my hands. I had quit my job a few months prior to finish working on my non-monogamy guide book – which I promise to finish sooooon – and had seemingly all the time in the . . . → Read More: Why Playground? Why Now?
My wedding ring and I have a strange relationship. When I’m at home, I often pay it no attention, abandoning it on a random shelf as soon as I walk in the door. It never sleeps with me or sees me naked. I won’t let it eat at the dinner table and it certainly never gets to hang out during sex. However when it’s time to leave the house and go out in public, I am absolutely lost without it. On those days where I cannot remember which one of five random shelves has been graced with my white-gold, sad excuse for bling band, I find myself sometimes hiding my ring finger when surrounded by strangers, lest someone see me as not married or worse … with a wedding ring tan line (a sure sign of cheating, some would say). I really like the concept of ‘community’ in theory. I know there are countless people out there who have felt lost, alone, strange, weird, etc. until they stumbled upon a group of like-minded souls. Kindred spirits who would embrace them into their circle with open arms. “You no longer have to feel alone”, they might say to one another. For many, the fight against oppression, prejudice, sexism, suffering and homophobia gives the individual an extra sense of “home” plus instant allies in the war against ignorance. These alliances are valuable and certainly something to hold dear. Communities pop up for many reasons and in the sexuality sphere one exists for pretty much everything. If you can think it, a group has formed around it somewhere. For those with specific interests like kink for example, it makes sense that a movement is created around events, similar fetishes and social interaction. People of like minds come together to share life experiences in a safe, hopefully non judgmental environment. It’s human nature to want this. Read more » “I don’t care which way you swing, Samantha, as long as you’re honest.” I will always remember my mum telling me those words in our kitchen when I was about 15. I don’t think we were talking about anything serious at the time but for some reason I held onto that knowledge – that my mum would . . . → Read More: I’m Here. I’m … ? Exploring the pros & cons of anonymityI am very proud of the panel I’ve put together for Aprils’ Momentum conference. Faced with the challenge of running a very personal blog that features both helpful pieces and my own dating stories, anonymity is something that I deal with on a regular basis.
 Who is she? A few years ago I had a LiveJournal account and would use it to blog about my dates in (very) graphic detail. I was beginning to learn that the keyboard craved my touch more than the paper and loved being able to share sexy details with my audience. But what I was lacking was connection. I felt no more connected to my readers than they likely did with me. If I was going to share a story with them, not showing my face took away a lot of the enjoyment for me. Finally a friend convinced me to start this blog in March of 2008 and I went from anonymous sex blogger to the girl that you know today.
Recently, while analyzing my place in the sex+relationships blogosphere, I came to a realization: I am not a sex blogger. I might discuss a lot of things related to sex, but sexuality is more my bag, baby. My old, private blog used to be very detailed; I would talk about bits and parts and all the things I was doing to them or having done to mine. Nowadays though, I shy away from that and today I wanted to think about why. A lot of people read this blog. A lot of those people are friends or family and I don’t really want them to have to read about my latest anal exploits or lube experiments. There are people I’ve worked with that read this, and people that one day, maybe I’d like to work for. On the other hand, I do like to touch (no pun intended) on that stuff, from a general perspective. I’m not avoiding details for fear of reprocussions, I’m just actually not that interested in sharing them. Believe it or not, there are some things that I do not feel compelled to regularly share with my readers, unless it’s for a review of a toy/product/web site. I enjoy reading about details on other blogs, but would rather talk to you about my sexuality, poly experiences and relationship fails or wins. On October 20, GLAAD and the Spirit Day Facebook group are asking you to wear purple. Spirit Day was created to honor LGBT youth who feel that life is not worth living due to the hate, bullying, and cruelty they face daily. Bringing together people across the world to rally behind a cause is certainly . . . → Read More: More Than The Color Purple It’s easy to join a dating site and list yourself as bisexual. There’s no rule that says what that has to mean – and there shouldn’t be. You might be open to kissing girls. You might be open to dating them just as you would guys. It’s hard for me to say if I was single if I would ever end up in a relationship with a woman. I think if I did it would have to be open because, to be honest, I love dick too much! Not that I’ve done any scientific testing on the matter at all, but I like to say I’m a 2.78 on the Kinsey Scale. I’m almost in the middle, but leaning slightly more toward the dudes. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the ladies though.
 What I'd give for some alone time with Christina ..... A few months after opening up our marriage in 2006 I started a blog. It was an anonymous blog, whose address I don’t think I even remember, that I used as a diary to share graphic details about the dates I was going on. Sex with others, while married, was new and it felt great hitting publish on a dirty post that was going out into cyberspace, as we called it back then. #old This was back before the days of Twitter or me being on Facebook so there wasn’t really an easy way for me to inform people about this dirty diary. I told a few friends and *Harvey knew – which was really weird as I’d write about our BDSM times together, knowing he’d read it, automatically giving him insight into my thoughts. *See: Glutton for punishment. I stopped writing in the blog after a while, even though I’d developed a small group of devoted, anonymous pervy followers. In March of 2008 I started this blog and realized immediately that I had to view posting very differently. No longer was I anonymous open marriage girl, I was Samantha Fraser and everybody knew it. If I had a bad date or sexual encounter, I couldn’t very well share it without fearing some dating drama wrath to come down on me. |
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