When I first started this blog I never wanted to be a poster child for non-monogamy. Sure, I’ve enjoyed what limited “fame” I’ve achieved (if you can call it that), but I don’t aspire to be the go to person when the media needs someone to talk to. That being said, I’m always happy to share . . . → Read More: I Ain’t No Poster Child
      |
When I first had the idea for Playground around the end of last summer, I had a lot more time on my hands. I had quit my job a few months prior to finish working on my non-monogamy guide book – which I promise to finish sooooon – and had seemingly all the time in the . . . → Read More: Why Playground? Why Now? If I “meet” you on an online dating site – probably okCupid since it’s the only one I’m on – there’s a few things you should know about how we will interact with one another. Online dating can be an absolute minefield. My girlfriends and I have long email threads dedicated to the disgusting, crass and ridiculous emails that some people send, but there are many gems underneath that outer layer of human crap, which is why I’m about to tell you this. On favorites: Unless you show absolutely no interests outside of Creed, Two and a Half Men, Star Wars, pizza and beer, I will not judge you for your taste in music, movies, food and TV. I have some strange tastes in all of these things and know that your life’s path may have led you to an interest in death metal, country, indie or even Gaga. Our time together doesn’t have to involve seeing the same bands in concert or bonding over True Blood or Dexter, though I certainly agree it would be fun if it did. I don’t expect us to like all of the same foods. You will probably like something that I find disgusting and horrific and you might not be able to see past my love of Branston pickle but as long as you don’t try to kiss me with onion or olive breath though, I think we will make it through. I will not judge you for your (lack of) knowledge of wine. Nor for your favorite travel destinations or choices of art on your walls. If life has taken you on a path where you cannot afford to live on your own, I won’t mind. Though it will certainly make it difficult should we choose to take our clothes off. If you like to partake in recreational drugs that I am not involved in, I will not be scared away. My body has my own thoughts on these things, but as long as you are respectful, not creepy and still nice to me, it is not my place to judge your chosen form of relaxation. I only ask that you understand and respect my personal choices or limits. I will not judge you for driving a car or being a cyclist. I will however, take issue with you placing all blame for road problems on one or the other. As someone who partakes in both forms of transportation I see the problems on either side of the coin. I won’t not date you because of your chosen profession(s) – or lack of one – and in fact will be curious to learn about your passions. I really like the concept of ‘community’ in theory. I know there are countless people out there who have felt lost, alone, strange, weird, etc. until they stumbled upon a group of like-minded souls. Kindred spirits who would embrace them into their circle with open arms. “You no longer have to feel alone”, they might say to one another. For many, the fight against oppression, prejudice, sexism, suffering and homophobia gives the individual an extra sense of “home” plus instant allies in the war against ignorance. These alliances are valuable and certainly something to hold dear. Communities pop up for many reasons and in the sexuality sphere one exists for pretty much everything. If you can think it, a group has formed around it somewhere. For those with specific interests like kink for example, it makes sense that a movement is created around events, similar fetishes and social interaction. People of like minds come together to share life experiences in a safe, hopefully non judgmental environment. It’s human nature to want this. Read more » My brain and heart are taking a bit of a beating right now. Some good, some bad and I’m in a funny place trying to piece it all together. It shouldn’t go unsaid that I am probably pms’ing right now so my logic filter – which I pride myself on – isn’t working at full capacity. Emotions are running high in Sam Camp and there’s probably things like winter and gloominess making everything seem that much larger than it really is. Some biggish things have happened in the past week between Crush and I so I think I might as well just start with … Tuesday What a WEIRD week. On Monday night Crush and I were chatting online, like old times of October to December. It was nice to catch up with him as busy schedules – mainly on his end – and the holidays really interrupted our getting to know one another. I had been starting to suffer from a little “Absence makes the heart grow fungus” syndrome.
 See the resemblance? Each of us has many layers to who we are. There is the person that we show our friends, our family, our lovers and our coworkers. For some, they are one and the same. For others, each persona is a different representative of our reality where we can pick and choose which of our features to highlight at any given moment. And then there are the people we are when we are alone. I say people because many times we keep secrets even from ourselves. We have breakfast. We watch television. We read books. We work out. We take ourselves for walks in the park. To the bakery for an afternoon treat. Into the bath for a relaxing soak after a hard day at work. And at certain moments we catch a glance in the mirror and see our true self. I’m not saying that who we are the rest of the time isn’t real or true, but underneath it all exists our core, our base, our private self. The part of us that feels emotions more intensely than we allow our own minds to admit most of the time.  What is your truth? Last week an odd thing happened. I had drinks with M; Steph’s ex. She is also the girlfriend of my ex and was the driving force behind he and I splitting up in December of 2008. Or so it seemed. For two years we have gone our separate ways, having zero interest in staying in touch with one another as the hate levels on both sides were pretty high. I had tried my best and let go of any resentment I felt toward her for ending the relationship so suddenly but realized how strong her hatred of me was of me when there was an attempt to reconnect last year. The backstory is unnecessary but the emails that developed from it were from a very dark place, making it hard to believe that we could ever be even civil with one another.  This too, can be buried! And then out of the blue a few weeks ago, M sends me an email. I did a double take when I saw her name in my in-box and my stomach prepared for a random attack, though my brain knew there was no reason for it. Instead of hate mail I was greeted with a lovely message where she talked about letting go of the negativity she had harbored toward me. ONE WEEK left to register for Non-Monogamy 101! Lots of exciting stuff is coming down the pipeline in NYMP land and I wanted to share two upcoming workshops with you. The first, happening on November 2nd is a return of Non-Monogamy 101. Miss it the first time around? Now you can check it out! The second, happening on November . . . → Read More: Upcoming Fall Workshops A few months after opening up our marriage in 2006 I started a blog. It was an anonymous blog, whose address I don’t think I even remember, that I used as a diary to share graphic details about the dates I was going on. Sex with others, while married, was new and it felt great hitting publish on a dirty post that was going out into cyberspace, as we called it back then. #old This was back before the days of Twitter or me being on Facebook so there wasn’t really an easy way for me to inform people about this dirty diary. I told a few friends and *Harvey knew – which was really weird as I’d write about our BDSM times together, knowing he’d read it, automatically giving him insight into my thoughts. *See: Glutton for punishment. I stopped writing in the blog after a while, even though I’d developed a small group of devoted, anonymous pervy followers. In March of 2008 I started this blog and realized immediately that I had to view posting very differently. No longer was I anonymous open marriage girl, I was Samantha Fraser and everybody knew it. If I had a bad date or sexual encounter, I couldn’t very well share it without fearing some dating drama wrath to come down on me. |
||
|
Copyright © 2012 Not Your Mothers Playground - All Rights Reserved |
|||
