Pleasure, Penetration, & the Patriarchy

I remember the first time I felt the cliché heteronormative disparity after sex. I was 17 or 18, in sort of upstate New York, visiting my then (first) boyfriend in the house he shared with his NFL loving roommates. As I sat on the toilet, trying to expel the hell out of his cum making . . . → Read More: Pleasure, Penetration, & the Patriarchy

Nothing Is Something

I get it. You might think that it’s nothing to disappear. I can see why you might think it was a mistake getting back in touch; it doesn’t matter if it was intentionally with conversation or through that classically complicated mutual right swipe. Either way, you stayed around for a while and didn’t say much, . . . → Read More: Nothing Is Something

Radical, Dude. A #FatShamingWeek followup

If by suggesting that it’s not anybody else’s place to police someone else’s body, that makes me a radical, I’m ok with that.

If my existence on the planet makes other people angry because they can’t bear to look at me or accept their own personal demons, I’m ok with that.

If I make moderate . . . → Read More: Radical, Dude. A #FatShamingWeek followup

On Toenails and Sandwiches

I realized something today while cutting my toenails. (Not my normal place for epiphanies, but I’ll take it.) For a little context, I don’t really bother much with my feet. I wear flip flops all summer and into as much of fall as possible. I paint my toes maybe every few months, and sometimes just . . . → Read More: On Toenails and Sandwiches

On Being Amazing

At my dad’s funeral in 2004, one detail has always stuck out for me; how many people came up to me afterward to tell me what a nice service it was. In the absence of familiarity, strangers found themselves obligated to fill the silence with generic words of solace. Better than saying nothing, some would . . . → Read More: On Being Amazing

Guest Post: Embracing My Inner Goose

Recently, two of our dear friends decided to make the leap from their mostly monogamous marriage into open relationship territory. Theirs is a love most evident, and I’ve always considered them to be very strong as a couple, but making the switch to non-monogamy can be a tough hill to climb. When she sent me . . . → Read More: Guest Post: Embracing My Inner Goose

Feelings and Fence Posts

The other night while Steph was having a bath, I went in to hang out with him. I ended up confessing, while squished on the floor between the toilet and the wall, that I was feeling – to steal Jessica’s word – “ways” about his relationship with the new woman he is seeing.

I wasn’t . . . → Read More: Feelings and Fence Posts

Big Men Don’t Cry

It’s a tricky subject to address, the idea of male vulnerability; can I write about it in a fair and balanced way? Will I come across like a douche, no matter what I write? Who am I to write about this topic anyway, and why do I even want to?

I want to because some . . . → Read More: Big Men Don’t Cry

The Massive Brad Update or “Cockward” for Short

When I tell most people about my relationship with Brad, they’re confused. How is it possible that I’ve been dating someone for almost four months and I’ve only seen him naked – or almost naked – once? (twice now, since last night!)

It’s not my normal M.O. to wait this long. Not that I jump . . . → Read More: The Massive Brad Update or “Cockward” for Short

I’m Marching in the Parade!

I’ve always enjoyed the Toronto Pride parade for its fanfare, over the top hotness, activism and messages. Every year that I’ve gone has been a blast, filled with stop ins at hotel washrooms and bars (no line ups!), impromptu spin the bottle at Church and Wellesley, and more ogling of the human body than my . . . → Read More: I’m Marching in the Parade!