I really like the concept of ‘community’ in theory. I know there are countless people out there who have felt lost, alone, strange, weird, etc. until they stumbled upon a group of like-minded souls. Kindred spirits who would embrace them into their circle with open arms. “You no longer have to feel alone”, they might say to one another.
For many, the fight against oppression, prejudice, sexism, suffering and homophobia gives the individual an extra sense of “home” plus instant allies in the war against ignorance. These alliances are valuable and certainly something to hold dear.
Communities pop up for many reasons and in the sexuality sphere one exists for pretty much everything. If you can think it, a group has formed around it somewhere. For those with specific interests like kink for example, it makes sense that a movement is created around events, similar fetishes and social interaction. People of like minds come together to share life experiences in a safe, hopefully non judgmental environment. It’s human nature to want this. Read more »
“I don’t care which way you swing, Samantha, as long as you’re honest.”
I will always remember my mum telling me those words in our kitchen when I was about 15. I don’t think we were talking about anything serious at the time but for some reason I held onto that knowledge – that my mum would . . . → Read More: I’m Here. I’m … ?
Seeing is believing, right? If only that could be the case all the time. I used to have a huge problem with knowing something about myself and still believing the exact opposite. This often affected my self-image. In fact, it was mainly ONLY related to my self-image. No matter what I knew, whatever I believed was always the thought that possessed the most control over me.
You see, as a bigger girl, I never believed that I was worthy of a love as a teenager and as I became an adult. I also knew at the same time that thinking those thoughts was ridiculous. I was completely worthy of love and eventually one or many would come along, but at the same time I knew it, I also did not believe it one bit. Confusing, yes? Read more »
Since Don and I have broken up / taken a break / changed our relationship / WHATEVER the fuck you want to call this state we’re in now, my sex drive has picked up and jumped out the window. It’s not just that situation, though that’s the main contributor. Crush and I haven’t spoken in over a week. I think it’s just because he’s busy but I have a feeling it’s something more. Add Steph being sick, and everything has pretty much fizzled out down below.
What all of these life changes have caused me to realize is that – while it’s not the prettiest comparison – my sex drive works like a compost bin. It needs interaction – whether it’s in chat, in person or through touch – to keep it well fed and thriving. Because so much of my drive is fueled by my sexuality and not just my physical bits, if said sexuality is threatened, thirsty or sad … I lose interest in basically bothering. I need that interaction, the flirting, the teasing … dare I say it … the compliments.
I haven’t blogged in two weeks because there really hasn’t been anything to say. I have felt no inspiration to offer dating or non-monogamy advice, nor have I had any interesting stories to tell. In short, my life is in limbo and I’m just waiting to get out of this purgatory.
Having one lover end relationship while things with other lovers are good is strange. My brain can be distracted and think about the other people in my life and be happy and then it thinks of this and feels pretty bummed and sad. It’s a lot of emotions at once and I’m not used to having . . . → Read More: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Something I have always struggled with is letting go. It is rare that you will find me out of control because I don’t put myself into situations where it can happen. Being a control freak is not something I consider myself. I am plenty happy letting other people plan things or take over as I believe in encouraging everyone’s strengths to come through. My main trouble comes with personally letting go in areas that don’t really affect anyone else, but me. It’s only recently that I’ve put it all together and realized how deep this weird control thing runs in me and here is what I’ve learned.
Logical Fantasies
I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ve really thought it through now. Celebrity fantasies are a good example of something that I find impossible to do. It doesn’t matter who the celebrity is, if I’m going to dream about them in my bed I’m going to spend 98% of my daydreaming time figuring out the scenario to get them there. And yes, I can bend logic a little for this, but there’s no way that I could just have Alex O’Loughlin suddenly appear next to me in bed … or is there??
Lately I’ve become involved in more relationships happening at once than I’ve ever been used to. There are more people on the scene than my brain can sometimes process and it’s all a little … complicated.
Putting all of the logistics, heavy chats, fears and overwhelming-y-ness aside for a second, one of the awesome things that I’m gaining from two boyfriends, some lovely ladies and a few connection lines back and forth is clear and defined perspective.
My brain and heart are taking a bit of a beating right now. Some good, some bad and I’m in a funny place trying to piece it all together. It shouldn’t go unsaid that I am probably pms’ing right now so my logic filter – which I pride myself on – isn’t working at full capacity. Emotions are running high in Sam Camp and there’s probably things like winter and gloominess making everything seem that much larger than it really is.
Some biggish things have happened in the past week between Crush and I so I think I might as well just start with …
Driving home from a date recently with a satisfied smile on my face, this song came on the radio and I found myself getting annoyed with the lyrics.
“Give it to me right, or don’t give it to me at all.”
It made me think about sexpectations that society puts on our guys and how it’s pretty unfair to them and their manhood. I can think of countless occasions where women I’ve known – or have overheard – have been discussing men’s bits and the things men do with them in bed, complaining through most of the conversation. Read more »
