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What a WEIRD week. On Monday night Crush and I were chatting online, like old times of October to December. It was nice to catch up with him as busy schedules – mainly on his end – and the holidays really interrupted our getting to know one another. I had been starting to suffer from a little “Absence makes the heart grow fungus” syndrome.
 See the resemblance? In general, I’m a big believer in following your gut but since opening up my marriage I have learned that sometimes fighting that instinct can be the better option. Follow your gut when it comes to career moves or perhaps family politics, sure. Any area of life where your reaction to a situation is not going to be clouded with envy, jealousy or anger. Being reserved and protective is ok as long as you don’t limit your life so much that you end up missing out on amazing experiences. Then again, what you don’t experience, perhaps you won’t miss? Recently Steph told me that he received an email from a woman from his past. Apparently she’s single now and would like to start up a sexual relationship again. The situation is pretty perfect for him, minus the fact that she lives about an hour away, as he’s much more into physical interactions than his emotional wife over here. When he told me about it, asking how I felt about reconnecting, my gut reaction was to say no. You see, we met this woman at a friends’ birthday party. It was February 2008, and we’d been open for a year and a half. We were drunk, as per often. Steph and she were talking and he told her about our situation. At some point in the evening, I couldn’t find him and wandered upstairs to check the bathroom. Next to the bathroom was a spare room and I heard some noise, opened the door and found the two of them making out, about to have sex, or at least with some clothes off. Now I’m all about making out in private places, this I don’t have a problem with, but there was something very “crossing the line” with this situation. Steph and I were still relative newbs to non-monogamy and I didn’t appreciate his lack of control of the situation, so I fixed it. We all ended up having sex, by my rules. I was very controlling of the situation. “What’s that? You want his cock? Then you ask my permission first.” Yeah … that kinda’ stuff. It was a bit much, and she wasn’t really that into it, but it was the only way I knew, in my drunken state, how to handle the situation without really blowing up about the fact that they had both disrespected me and broken many rules. After that night, they saw each other a couple of times until she got a boyfriend. I was never really comfortable with it. Her name hadn’t been mentioned for almost three years until a few weeks ago and when it was my gut screamed at me: “NO FUCKING WAY!”
It is with great pleasure that I am pleased to announce the creation of the new Toronto Non-Monogamy Community Facebook Page and Twitter accounts. “Like” the Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Toronto-Non-Monogamy-Community/164129536958468 (Note: A comment discussion has led me to realize I should have been more specific and mention the fact that I’m talking about naked, sexy times only in this post. Those moments when you lose yourself in the sweat, the moans and the feel of skin against skin. Hopefully this clears things up a bit.) I admit it. There are some top 40 songs this year that have caught the attention of my hips; more so than usual. While my musical tastes are usually really varied, there’s something about 2010 club music that has my ass shaking. And while most of the time the messages are empty and the lyrics ridiculous, one song has me thinking and applying it to non-monogamy. The song? Rihanna’s “Only Girl In The World”. When I first heard it I found something entrancing about the way she was singing, well belting really. After a while though, I started listening to the words and felt a connection to the sentiment. “I want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.” Read more » It sucks knowing that it’s hard for Don to know about the existence of Crush. I feel bad for hurting him because I know it must be strange. For the longest time I haven’t dated any other guys; it’s only been him (and my husband, of course!). But I’ve come to a realization lately (translation, just now) which might not make him feel any better, but it does seem to fit, so fingers crossed.  Bye bye, anxiety Recently, while hanging in Mexico on holiday, Steph and I were having some sort of light relationship chat. I don’t remember at all what sparked it, but he suddenly said “I love the fact that Don feels about you like he does.” When I asked him to explain he was talking about how it was nice for . . . → Read More: Reassurance Win No really, can I? Well, it turns out I totally do. And not just on the amazingly dreamy Alex O’Loughlin from Hawaii 5.0, although he is still in the running for top daydream fodder spot in my brain by the way.
 Um, hi ... have you seen this man?? Nom nom nom. Actually, my crush is a guy I met on okC, though have not met in person yet. (Save that for next week.) It feels very strange to have a man crush again and I have been fighting with a little bit of guilt over it. ONE WEEK left to register for Non-Monogamy 101! Lots of exciting stuff is coming down the pipeline in NYMP land and I wanted to share two upcoming workshops with you. The first, happening on November 2nd is a return of Non-Monogamy 101. Miss it the first time around? Now you can check it out! The second, happening on November . . . → Read More: Upcoming Fall Workshops The other night when Steph and I got to the park, I pulled out my phone and checked in via Facebook Places and Foursquare. “Who do you check in for?” he asked. Sheepishly, I replied … “Um, me I guess? I like having a record.” To tell the truth, I’m not 100% sure what drives the need to stay connected through social media and tell the world what I’m doing instead of remaining anonymous which is the much easier choice. I’m guilty of many of the crimes that sites like The Oatmeal would say is social / information faux pas and then I make fun of others for doing them as well. It’s just what you do, I tell myself. But is it? Why do I feel this incessant need to tweet all the time or share my life via my blog? Why the push to be more honest than sometimes necessary, to expose myself and my wounds? It’s easy to join a dating site and list yourself as bisexual. There’s no rule that says what that has to mean – and there shouldn’t be. You might be open to kissing girls. You might be open to dating them just as you would guys. It’s hard for me to say if I was single if I would ever end up in a relationship with a woman. I think if I did it would have to be open because, to be honest, I love dick too much! Not that I’ve done any scientific testing on the matter at all, but I like to say I’m a 2.78 on the Kinsey Scale. I’m almost in the middle, but leaning slightly more toward the dudes. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the ladies though.
 What I'd give for some alone time with Christina ..... |
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