Not Your Mothers Playground» okCupid

Apple C, Apple P

samantha — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:24:34 +0000

This might make me an asshole … but I don’t care.

When I get a message like this, it makes me angry but in an amused way. It’s clearly coming from a man who doesn’t get it. He hasn’t read my profile, he’s not interested in knowing anything about me. He is a serial copy paster. He’s living in a Fabio inspired, trashy romance novel world with no interest in who I am, my relationship situation and especially the fact that I’m not really dating any other men right now. I’m quite enthralled with the ones I’ve got.

How do I know? Because he has copy pasted me before. And I’ve received messages from friends saying that he has sent the EXACT same message both times. Wow.

Last time I ignored him. This time I told him in no uncertain terms that he’s an idiot.

See for yourself. And feel free to flag the douche. He’s kafka47ca on okcupid.com.

He's all yours, ladies

Some time has passed since I enquired if you would contemplate being the Other woman in a man’s life. This would be a commitment to a long term relationship, although, not within the definitions a site such as this operates upon.

As you have not replied, I can only conclude that you are still pondering the issue…

Consider for a moment the advantages that such a relationship offers to you: commitment without containment; uninhibited and free love with no messy strings; someone who exclusively desires you; torrent of passionate embraces on your terms; your independence is assured yet we would certainly be intertwined on an intimate and emotional basis.

Yes, against it stands the fairy tale ideal of marriage. Nonetheless, as the divorce rate readily shows, modern relationships are fraying even under the best of circumstances. Having put my heart into one such imaginary relationship, I would caution anyone that love and modern relationships are a constant challenge and work, of which, I no longer can partake in with someone intent at demolishing the foundations of the said relationship on a semi-regular basis because of some egotistical whim or narcissistic action.

What then I am asking of you? To partake in: boundless love; providing comfort – something as simple as stroking one’s brow; partaking in common interests and sharing stories of the things that enchant life and make it beautiful; offering tenderness, compassion and affection; empathy and respect.

Are you feeling this is something that you would like to try?

Hell no! This was more of an icky business proposal than romantic seduction.

Another okCupid gem!

samantha — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:09:54 +0000

This one’s almost poetic:

hi lovely day
its friday
im home going for a run
im italian french\
very passionate
************@hotmail.com
im single no kids
luv playing sports
and going to my cottage
antonio xo

Amazing. He wrote the same thing to my friend Bonnie. Check it out.

You might like …

samantha — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:10:15 +0000

Just clicked on okcupid.com randomly to see if I had any messages and it showed me three, almost identical, bald guys that it thought I might like. I could barely tell the difference between them and thought it was a tech screw up!

It was very weird and made me . . . → Read More: You might like …

okCupid Message Fun!

samantha — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:15:00 +0000

I don’t really mean to mock, but sometimes I get the best, most entertaining e-mails on okCupid. I have to admire this girl for being really to the point, but she’s not winning any points in the wooing department.

In fact, I feel rather frightened of her demands. What if I’m NOT “discreet”? What if my cell phone is on the fritz? What if I don’t like MySpace???

***** is my name. You must be discreet and STD freeI don’t use msn or chat rooms I’m looking to meet face to face or I don;t have time for persoanls emails. If you are not for real don’t wist my time.Oral Sex with bi women I can host in Scar Lets Meet I’m 30 black women slim and fit STD free No men No couples, No Transexuals. I’m on facebook and myspace so I looking to meet a bi women that works are in college with photos online of themseld real photos taken in 2009 with a working cell number.I ‘m looking for real bi women for oral sex on going

I think I should start sharing more of these e-mails. It’s probably really mean, but it’s not like these people have honestly spent any time reading my profile, bothering to learn anything about who I am or what I’m interested in.

Oh boy, I’m so going to hell.

Dating Horrors, ep. 1

samantha — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:00:23 +0000

{Share your dating stories with Samantha, and the world. E-mail your favorite disaster dates to notyourmothersplayground@gmail.com and she’ll share the best on NYMP!}

A friend of mine has a few excellent dating stories. She tells them with such hilarious conviction that, with her permission, I wanted to share them with you. It’s possible I might get some of the details wrong, but they’re more for entertainment value then anything else, so I’m not too worried.

A while ago she was talking to this guy on PlentyofFish (a dating website, that I can’t stand – much prefer and recommend okCupid). He flaked out on her a few times, but still she gave him a chance and decided to meet with him. As he worked in finance, there were some expectations about how the night might go, but she gave him a chance and headed off on the date. (I don’t say that to be prejudice, just to note that they were coming from different backgrounds, so either way the night would go … interestingly.)

When they get to the restaurant, he tells her he has to run and do an errand for “his buddy”, but will be back in 10 / 15 minutes.

He leaves his wallet with her as collateral, and then leaves her alone at the bar to watch it while he’s gone! Alone. He leaves her alone, on their first date, after flaking out on her numerous times, so that he can run an errand for his “buddy”.

When he returns, the date continues, but the guy is so up his own ass, talking about how much money he makes or is going to be making, that there’s no hope in hell for a second date.

She tells him this in an email, saying there’s no room for her and his ego in his life. Needless to say, he was a jerk in his reply and that was the end of him.

I love this story. It reminded me about the single life and the things I miss / don’t miss about it. Soon I’m going to share with you my thoughts on being single-single, vs. relationship-single. There are pros and cons to both!

We walk among you

samantha — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:00:48 +0000

It used to be that thoughts of people in open relationships brought specific visions to mind. Hippie communes, copious amounts of drugs and rock’n'roll on the free love side and purple satin sheets, leopard print anything and hedonistic Mexican resorts on the swinging side. All of those things still exist and please many people, but there are definitely new kids in town and a new playground for them.

A new generation is bringing their thoughts on monogamy to the forefront of conversation. Some of them are living a fully polyamorous life, others are just inviting other people into their bedroom and then giving them the boot before the sun has a chance to think about rising. More and more are expressing our desire to stay with the partner we’ve chosen, but to still experience the joys that other people can bring into our lives. In short, every couple has their own way of doing things, experimenting with their own comfort.

The internet plays a big part in this new level of confidence many of us have with our lifestyle choices. Sites like Facebook give us the option of saying exactly what’s going on in our lives by letting us select “in an open relationship” or “it’s complicated” for our relationship status. Dating websites like okCupid have more and more members saying they are living an open lifestyle to some degree, and it seems normal.

What is it about the internet that allows us to feel safe? It used to be the anonymity of the web. You could say what you wanted and hide behind the screen, putting your thoughts out there but never having to deal with any real consequences. In recent years though, communities have been popping up all over the place. The internet has become how the world connects on a personal level, and is often more influential than any other medium at shaping how society thinks. No longer do I feel amazed that I can chat with someone across the ocean online as I once did. Now I’m amazed that I can find my neighbors and communicate with them as I may never have before.

Being able to find so much information about open relationships and to connect with other people who list it as a normal feature about themselves, just as they would the fact that they’re a brunette with green eyes, encourages us to feel a much higher level of acceptance than we’ve ever been exposed to in the past. There’s always the sticky issue of “coming out”, and there’s no reason that just because you’re experimenting with your level of fidelity that you have to tell everyone about it. Certainly not everyone’s mum is ok with it, and sadly discrimination still exists in many workplaces. Do what works for you and never be ashamed of it, as you are not alone.

We walk among you, and you might be surprised to find out how many of us there are.