If anyone has any advice, contacts, or other thoughts about getting my book, Not Your Mother’s Playground published, please e-mail me!
I am planning on self-publishing to start with, to get this thing done!
Remember the swinging 60’s and 70’s? Key parties and free love? While those innocent times are long gone there are still plenty of people in today’s society looking for advice on opening up their relationship, in different ways than Mum and Dad.
Not Your Mother’s Playground: Open Relationships for Modern Folk (NYMP) is a book on modern open relationships aimed at a new generation, discussing everything from swinging to polyamory (multiple loves). It includes personal triumphs and challenges mixed in to give it a relatable, intimate feel. I decided to write the book when initially opening up my own marriage four years ago. When my husband Steph and I looked to the stores to find material on the topic, the majority of the books we found were directed to an older, more “free-love” focused crowd.
Polyamory and other open relationship structures have often been written about from this perspective, making everything appear quite simple and easy. My plan with NYMP is to talk about open relationships from a realistic and experienced viewpoint, giving people honest advice and examples from not only my own life but others as well.
NYMP is divided into three main sections: The Beginning – an introduction to non-monogamy, The Nitty Gritty – tackling issues and details and The Big Picture – which looks to the future. It will be approximately 250 – 300 pages long.
Synopsis
The idea behind Not Your Mother’s Playground is to walk the reader through everything they will encounter should they choose to open up their relationship. It will show all sides from the good to the bad, not ignoring the reality that these relationships come with complications that can put even the strongest couples to the test.
I want to discuss many of the tiny details that people can get caught up on as they navigate non-monogamy. Other books on the subject tend to discuss problems in a much broader sense and in contrast NYMP talks about real issues with real examples. When doing this on my blog, www.notyourmothersplayground.com, the feedback is positive, as readers are able to relate to my experiences and apply lessons learned to their own situations.
While the book does focus more on those already in a relationship, it also contains plenty of information for single readers who might be coming at non-monogamy from a different perspective. It is also written for a more mainstream audience than other works as through my own experience opening up my relationship I found that this perspective was lacking from the bookshelves while plenty of “non-fringe” people were getting involved in non-monogamy.
The book is written from a first person point of view as I offer advice and guidance in a light-hearted, relatable and easy to understand tone. It’s important to me that readers feel as if they are engaged in a conversation while reading instead of having to understand self-help jargon. In addition to my advice and personal anecdotes, I will also include stories from other non-monogamous people and experts.
NYMP presents the steps readers need to take to succeed in their own open relationship in a way that’s not overwhelming for even relationship traditionalists to read.
Using inspiration from other well-known polyamory / swinging works such as “The Ethical Slut”, and “Polyamory – the New Love Without Limits”, NYMP hopes to reach a new generation of people exploring open relationships.
Audience
The current market for a new book on non-monogamy is growing. Websites like Facebook allow users to select “In an open relationship” as their status. There are very few new guide books coming out on the topic of open relationships and polyamory and modern couples / singles are hungry for something that discusses how to succeed in this old way of relating in today’s modern times.
While the focus of the book is mainly on non-monogamy there are many lessons inside that are valuable for monogamous readers as well. Communication is key to any successful relationship and I make sure to offer advice that is applicable to traditional relationship set-ups as well.
With popular television shows like “Big Love”, “Tyra Banks”, “Oprah” and “House” talking about non-monogamy and actors including Will Smith, Tilda Swinton and Mo’Nique discussing their open relationships publicly, the timing is perfect for the conversation about non-monogamy to become more mainstream and reach a broader audience which I hope to help with.
Here is some feedback that I have received regarding the book from blog readers:
“This book is important now more than ever. Polyamory and other non-traditional relationships are gaining momentum. As our culture changes and evolves, some of the social barriers that restricted us are breaking down. People are freer to explore love for the sake of love, and the face of what that love looks like is similarly evolving. I look forward to reading Samantha’s book!”
‘Finally, a CANADIAN book that deals with the reality of open marriages and polyamory. Perhaps the time is finally coming when having an “open marriage” can be discussed early and openly as an option to monogamy. This is healthy, this is overdue, and this will be on my bookshelf and into my teenager’s hands.”
“Although I’ve been following you for only a few months, your willingness to share the minute details of your life through both your blog and tweet stream have led me to see you and @stephgoulet as something of a polyamorous role model couple. Your example has been immensely helpful in easing hesitations through my personal transition to open marriage. I look forward to seeing your book on the shelves, and the opportunity to learn more from your experiences.”
“I can’t wait to read your book. I find it very interesting that people involved in open marriages are able to make it work. I would love to know what types if issues there are and how different people deal with them. I believe your book will be enlightening to me.”